What are the Goals of Marriage Counseling?
For many couples, the primary goal of marriage counseling is to save the marriage and stay together. For others, seeking therapy may be attributed to unresolved issues in the marriage. It’s important to understand that marriage counseling isn’t a quick fix. Rather, it takes dedication and effort to accomplish goals and repair the relationship.
A marriage counselor can help you in the following ways:
Infidelity & Adultery
If either you or your partner is unfaithful, it can seem like your relationship is doomed. However, if both you and your partner are committed to the relationship and willing to try to work it out, there is a chance your relationship can be repaired. The good thing about marriage counselors is they can help rebuild trust in your relationship. This relationship specialist can also help you understand why the infidelity or adultery occurred.
Poor Communication
It’s common for couples to have different ways of communicating. It’s also common for them to have poor communication skills, especially when it comes to voicing how they feel. You may assume your partner should know what you’re thinking or feeling – but he/she may not. Regardless, if your partner is not a mind reader, it can hurt your feelings when he/she does not react like you think he/she should.
Moreover, poor communication can cause one or both of you to feel abandoned, ignored, or dismissed. You may even mistake poor communication for a sign that your partner no longer loves you or is attracted to you.
This happens because you assume your partner knows what you need and want, when he/she may have no clue – unless you tell him/her. So, when you remain silent about how you feel, it can cause a breakdown in communication and a disconnect between you and your spouse.
Substance Abuse & Addiction
Sometimes one or both partners have a substance abuse problem or full-blown addiction. Addiction comes in many forms – i.e., drugs, alcohol, gambling, pornography, overeating, and even shopping. This is a serious issue that must be addressed as soon as possible. But first, the abuser or addict has to admit there is a problem and he/she needs help. The good thing about couple’s counselors is that they can help you address these challenges individually and within your relationship.
Child-Rearing Issues
Raising children can be hard – really hard. There is no instruction manual on how to raise children or how to combat child-rearing problems when they arise. Most of us simply have to “wing it”. Still, children can put a strain on a relationship, especially when the child has behavioral problems, learning difficulties, a chronic illness or disability, and/or mental health issues. Unfortunately, however, when child-rearing issues pop up, the focus usually goes towards the child, leaving the relationship to flounder.
Passion & Romance
Every couple wants passion and romance in their relationship, especially if they have been together for a long time. So, it is common for couples to seek marriage counseling as a way to become closer to one another. A benefit of marriage counseling is that it can help you and your partner see the value in reconnecting with one another. The end results? More passion, romance, and a re-emergence of the “honeymoon stage”.
Conflicts & Resentment
It’s normal to have conflicts and even resentment from time-to-time in a relationship. You are human after all. A good thing about marriage therapists is that they are trained to teach you important conflict-resolution skills that you can use in your relationship. In other words, they teach you how to “fight fair”.
The truth is, when you are unable to or refuse to “fight fair”, it can cause deep-seated wounds that are hard to heal. And when conflicts and resentment are left to simmer, it can do irreparable damage to your relationship.
This is especially true when you and/or your partner are unable to effectively communicate how you/they feel. As a result, anger, bitterness, and hostility fester and problems deepen. If you don’t take steps to address issues in your relationship and reaffirm your commitment to resolving conflicts and making your marriage work, it will die.